We have a Headroom that is more like a building with a bunch of rooms, including a large open area in front with a window looking out. We don't actually know if this is actually a fronting room, or if it's a watching-front room. In it is a gateway / portal that will drop us in a very large Innerworld. We recall finding out that this room may, in fact, be connected to the Innerworld in terms of being able to walk through hallways and get to an innerworld location, as opposed to (what we had previously believed) them being quite separate spaces. I do not, however, seem to have access to this right now? Just the memory of it being a thing. Not sure what's up with that.
We did recently read a little about layers and think that may be a relevant concept, and oh look, apparently a layers paradox is a thing, too.
We certainly have something of a separation between the two, though. After the prior attempt of organising the innerworld, I eventually found my head had gotten much quieter, and I was rarely engaging with headmates, nor they with me. I'm glad we have the innerworld, I do think it's a good idea. I was beginning to find that I did want something to change though, and soon after, the people who were running the innerworld told me they were finding themselves getting a tad overwhelmed by the numbers there.
Currently, we have, according to a headmate who is more involved with internal / innerworld stuff, about 300 people. We have spent a large amount of time and energy on trying to sort out innerworld stuff for a third time by setting up a whole committee, based on our own experiences with a landed club run by committee as well as use of a resource aimed at setting up and running non-profit organisations.
We...
Then we had an AGM on December 1st, and then had to prepare externally for a guest and a trip to hometown, so all this system stuff has gone pretty well ignored from me. (I am supposed to liaise with the facilitator, I think. She hasn't yet initiated with me, and we suspect the aforementioned "Layers" thing may be why - it might be that some people have access to the Headroom and others, such as the facilitator, don't. Just means either I have to actively check in, or we get someone else to liaise.)
We have been figuring out we have something more complex going on than just "people" that we are trying to figure out. For the most part we have very recently opted for now to lean away from the term "person" to describe any of us - this is not to say no one can self-describe as such, just that it is not, at least for the meantime, going to be a way we try to categorise members of the headhold. We dislike the pathology approach, but are having to begin using those resources given there are functionally no resources for large, complex systems outside of that paradigm.
We know there are members that have unique and consistent opinions, preferences, interests, and skills, seeming are capable of fronting on their own. We also know that who we often consider "primary front" does not have the stable sense of identity it had soon after learning of our plurality. It has had the experience of the head feeling very quiet, like the ambient whirring of machinery to familiar it is entirely tuned out, has fallen silent. Despite it being able to think clearly during this, it is simultaneously unable to think clearly at all. This has been confirmed to have occurred simultaneous with when many, many people who spend time in the background of the fronting room have gone together to the innerworld proper for a period of time. This indicates to us that there may be some modularity happening in the front. It is possible that the one who we think of as front is more like a "veil" or "shell," or maybe just one part of a fluid, modular group. Or both.
These may explain why primary front seems to have so much inconsistency in its interests and desires, and consequently decision-making - particularly in the context of deciding what to do now. There may be all these modular parts (?) with different interests, and all of them kind of want to engage with their interest equally so it is difficult to pick just one.
Typing it out like that prompts us to think that the solution to this problem is to ensure we are able to engage with those interests regularly. We have attempted that before though, and struggled. It would help to be able to intentionally switch fronts for various tasks, but then we have the decision-making problem again.
We also believe we may have something going on akin to the "emotional fragments" concept - we've opted to call them wisps. We're still figuring out what these are, how to recognise them, what their relevance is, and how to best work with them.
Posted 2022-12-22